Morning light streamed through a gap in the curtains, and I opened my eyes. Looking over, I saw that my husband, Ryan, was already up. He stood in front of a large suitcase, lost in thought. Today, Ryan was leaving on a three-month business trip to Singapore. For him, a project manager at an IT company, this assignment was a significant opportunity. But for our family, it was too long a separation.
We have two children. Noah, age three, is an energetic and friendly little boy, and Sophia, eight months old, is still a nursing baby. For the three months Ryan would be away, I’d have to take care of both of them on my own. I used to be a graphic designer but became a stay-at-home mom after Noah was born. Caring for my children is precious to me, but to be honest, there are times when I feel I’ve reached my limit, both physically and mentally, especially since Sophia’s birth.
While making coffee, I called out to Ryan. He smiled a little sadly, saying it would be hard to be away from us for three whole months. He held me close, but it was work. It couldn’t be helped.
The day before he left, my mother-in-law, Clare, came to visit. She’s always kind and worries about our family. While Ryan was away, she said, she wanted to introduce me to a reliable babysitter, a woman named Jessica, who was supposedly great with children.
Honestly, I hesitated. I was resistant to leaving my children with a stranger. But Clare seemed to sense my anxiety. “This woman is truly trustworthy, so please don’t worry. She’s an old friend of my son’s, someone I know well.”
Clare’s words were persuasive. Besides, Sophia’s crying at night had left me perpetually sleep-deprived. I felt I needed the help.
A few days later, Clare brought Jessica over. She was a woman with a calm demeanor, and her gentle smile was striking. She spoke kindly to Noah, and he took to her right away. The way she held Sophia also seemed practiced, which put me at ease. Jessica would come three times a week in the mornings to help.
The day came to see Ryan off at the airport. Noah cried, and Sophia fussed unhappily in my arms. Ryan hugged Noah over and over, then turned to me. “If anything comes up, contact me right away.”
“It’ll be fine,” I replied. “We have Jessica.” Ryan looked a bit relieved as he headed toward the boarding gate.
When I got home, silence enveloped me. The house without Ryan felt empty, but I had two children and new help. I told myself it would be okay. That’s what I believed.
Two weeks passed. Jessica came three times a week as promised. At first, I was a bit tense, but seeing her gentle manner with the children, I gradually let my guard down. While she was there, I could have time to myself for the first time in ages. I could take a long shower, catch up on chores, and sometimes even go out to lunch with friends. Though I missed Ryan, thanks to Jessica, I was managing.
One morning, while washing dishes, I heard Jessica’s voice as she played with Noah. “When Mommy’s busy,” she said gently, “I’ll protect you, so don’t worry.”
When I first heard it, I thought it was a kind thing to say. But I noticed she said the same sort of thing over and over. When Mommy’s having a hard time… When Mommy’s not here, I’m here, so it’s okay. Again and again. I felt it was a bit odd, but told myself she was just trying to reassure the child. Still, a small sense of unease remained.
One afternoon, Jessica and I were having tea in the living room. She casually started talking about Ryan, asking what he was like in college.
“Honestly, I didn’t meet Ryan in college,” I answered. “I met him through a friend.”
Jessica showed a somewhat surprised expression. “Oh, is that so?” she said, then continued. “Ryan must have been a serious student. He’s always been so responsible, the type to care about people around him, right?”
I nodded, but questions arose in my mind. Maybe she heard it from Clare, I thought. But would my mother-in-law have told her such detailed stories?
A few days later, I was folding laundry when I suddenly looked up and saw Jessica standing in the living room. She was staring intently at the family photos on the wall—our wedding photo, the photo from when Noah was born, the photo of all four of us together. There seemed to be some deep emotion dwelling in the way she stood there.
When I called out to her, she turned as if startled. “You have a lovely family,” she said with a smile. But that smile looked somehow lonely. I thanked her, but felt as if a small thorn had stuck in my chest.
As the weeks went on, the sense of unease gradually grew. When Jessica talked about Ryan, she was strangely familiar. She’d say things like, “Ryan was probably kind even back then,” or laugh and say, “He must have been popular when he was a student.” She spoke as if she’d known him for a long time.
I thought maybe I was being overly sensitive, paying too much attention to trivial things because I missed Ryan. But deep down, something bothered me.
One night, I tried to video call my husband, but the time difference and his busy schedule made it difficult. I wanted to tell him about Jessica, about the strangely detailed things she seemed to know, but I couldn’t explain what was wrong. She wasn’t doing anything bad; it was just… odd. I didn’t want to worry him based on a hunch. In the end, I put my phone down without sending a message.
A month had passed since Ryan left. We had almost no opportunities for leisurely video calls, but tonight was different. He contacted me saying he could make time for a family call. I was so happy. I changed Noah and Sophia into cute outfits. Seeing his face on the screen, even tired, made me feel I could keep going a little longer.
We enjoyed a casual, ordinary conversation. Just then, Jessica came back from the kitchen. Today was Friday, and she’d stayed late to help with dinner. “I’ll make some tea,” she said kindly as she entered the living room.
Suddenly, Ryan’s expression froze on the other side of the screen. His eyes widened, and the color drained from his face. His voice trembled. “Who’s that behind you?” he shouted, fear and confusion mixing in his tone.
I turned to look at Jessica, then back at the screen. “The babysitter,” I answered. “The one your mother introduced.”
Ryan’s face turned even paler. “Her name! Tell me her name!” he said desperately.
“Jessica,” I answered. “What’s wrong?”
At that moment, Jessica approached the screen from behind me. She wore a calm smile and waved. “It’s been a while,” she said, her voice surprisingly composed. “It’s been a while, Ryan.”
On the other side of the screen, Ryan shouted my name. “Emily! Take Noah and Sophia and leave the house right now! Get away from that woman! Right now!”
His voice was so urgent, filled with a terror I’d never heard before. My heart started pounding violently. I held Sophia tight and tried to take Noah’s hand, but my body was shaking. When I turned, Jessica was standing there with that same calm, gentle smile. But now it looked like something else entirely.
“You don’t need to run, Emily,” she said quietly. “I just wanted to talk.”
I was confused. Ryan was so frightened, but Jessica was speaking in her usual gentle voice.
Noah grabbed my clothes. “Mommy,” he said, his small voice filled with fear.
On the screen, Ryan kept shouting, but my feet wouldn’t move. Jessica slowly walked toward the entrance. She stood in front of the door and turned. “Wait,” she said, her voice tinged with sadness. “I’m not a bad person. I just wanted to see Ryan and tell him the truth.”
“What truth?” I asked in a trembling voice.
Sophia started crying in my arms. I could only hear the words Jessica said, quiet but clear.
“We have a child,” she said.
It felt like time had stopped. Only the sound of the living room clock echoed. I couldn’t understand. No, I didn’t want to understand.
Jessica took her smartphone out of her pocket and showed me a photo of a boy around ten years old, smiling. The moment I saw his face, the strength left my body. The child resembled Noah—the shape of his eyes, the way he smiled, his hair color. Everything resembled Noah, and Ryan.
“His name is Ethan,” Jessica said quietly. “Ryan’s son.”
My hands were shaking. I almost dropped Sophia. Noah started crying, calling my name over and over, but I couldn’t answer. Was this a dream?
“We have a child,” Jessica repeated. “His name is Ethan. He just turned ten.”
My mind went blank. Ten years old. That meant he was a child born before Ryan and I met. But Ryan had never said a word.
On the other side of the screen, Ryan was shouting. “That’s a lie! I never heard any such story! Emily, don’t believe her! She’s a stalker!” His desperation, conversely, made it sound like he was hiding something.
Jessica smiled sadly. “Stalker,” she said quietly. “Yes, I suppose that’s how it might look. But I’ve been raising your child for ten years. I never once asked for help. I just thought Ethan had the right to know his father.”
I sank onto the sofa. Noah buried his face in my lap, crying. I asked Jessica what this was all about. She sat across from me, tears welling in her eyes.
“Ryan and I dated in college,” she began. “For two years. We talked about the future. But when he started job hunting, he changed.” Her voice was quiet, but deep pain seeped through. “He said he couldn’t see a future and broke up with me. He wanted to focus on his career. A month later, I found out I was pregnant. But Ryan had already started a new life. I couldn’t contact him. No… I didn’t. I didn’t want to interfere.”
A tear ran down her cheek. “So, I decided to have the baby alone. Ethan became my everything. For ten years, I’ve been doing my best.”
On the screen, Ryan yelled, “Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you contact me?”
“I couldn’t,” she answered. “You had a new life. I didn’t think I had the right to destroy that. But as Ethan grew, he started asking about his Daddy. ‘Where is Daddy? Why can’t I see him?’ I couldn’t keep lying to him. So, I searched for Ryan and learned he was married and had built a happy family.”
My chest tightened. Jessica’s words didn’t sound like lies. There was real anguish in her eyes.
“Why did you approach my mother-in-law?” I asked. “Why did you deceive us?”
She looked down. “Because I thought if I suddenly appeared, you wouldn’t believe me. So, I approached Clare. I lied and said I was an old friend. I thought that way, I could meet you all. I could meet Ryan.”
“But my children have nothing to do with this,” I said. “If you’re really a mother, you shouldn’t have approached us this way.”
Jessica covered her face. “I’m sorry,” she cried. “But there was no other way. Every night, Ethan asks about his daddy. When he hears stories about his classmates’ families, he makes such a sad face. As a mother, I wanted to let him meet his father.”
At that moment, the front door opened. My mother-in-law, Clare, came in. Seeing our state, she looked shocked. In a trembling voice, I told her everything. Her face grew paler and paler. She looked at Jessica with an expression of disbelief. “You deceived me,” Clare said, anger and sadness mixing in her voice. “You used me.”
Jessica fell to her knees. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “But Ethan needs a father. He didn’t do anything wrong.”
Clare was speechless. I stood up. “I understand,” I said. “I’ve heard the story. But right now, I need to calm my children.”
Clare grabbed Jessica’s arm. “In any case, go home for today,” she said. “We all need to discuss what to do.”
Jessica stood and looked at me. “I’m truly sorry,” she said, and headed for the entrance. The sound of the door closing, and then silence returned. I held my children close. Clare sat next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. On the other side of the screen, Ryan was calling my name, but I couldn’t answer. My world had completely changed.
The next day, Ryan made an emergency return. He came straight home from the airport and hugged me, his face exhausted. “I’m sorry,” he said over and over. “I really didn’t know.”
We talked for a long time. He told me everything about his relationship with Jessica, the breakup, and his ignorance of the pregnancy. Tears welled in his eyes. “If I’d known, I would never have run away,” he said.
I couldn’t bring myself to blame him. But complicated emotions swirled in my heart. For ten years, another woman had been raising my husband’s child. That fact was too heavy.
Ryan decided to take a DNA test. Jessica agreed. Two weeks later, the results arrived. Ethan was his biological son.
When he saw the results, Ryan sat down on the floor, holding his head and crying, muffling his voice. “I had a son,” he murmured. “For ten years, I’ve been living without knowing.”
We spent a long time discussing what to do, with Clare as well. Eventually, Ryan decided to meet with Jessica. Just the two of them. When he came back, his eyes were red, but his expression was resolute. “I’ll pay child support,” he said. “And I’ll see Ethan once a month.”
I accepted it. It wasn’t an easy decision, but Ethan had done nothing wrong. He had the right to know his father.
A month later, I met Ethan. Jessica brought him over. A boy with a face similar to Noah’s stood nervously in front of me. “Nice to meet you,” he said in a small, trembling voice. “I’m Ethan.”
I realized he was scared, too. A father who suddenly appeared, and that father’s family. For him, this was a monumental change.
Ethan looked at me and said, “I’m happy to know I have a dad, but I don’t want to cause you trouble.”
Those words tightened my chest. I held back tears and smiled. “It’s okay,” I said. “Family isn’t just about blood. If we take our time, I think we can all create a new form together.”
Tears welled in Ethan’s eyes. He nodded slightly.
Jessica bowed her head to me. “I’m truly sorry,” she said. “My approach was wrong. But as a mother, I thought I had to do something for my son.”
“I understand how you feel,” I answered. “But from now on, please talk to us honestly. We’re adults. We should be able to discuss things.”
Clare never forgave Jessica, but she was kind to Ethan. For her, too, Ethan was a grandchild.
One night, I wrote in my diary: What is a real family? Is it blood ties, time spent together, or the feeling of protecting each other? I still don’t know the answer.
But I have Noah and Sophia. And now, a boy named Ethan has also become part of our lives. He visits our house once a month. At first, he was tense, but now he plays with Noah, laughing.
I don’t know if this was the right choice. But the children are innocent. I wrote this at the end of my diary: There isn’t just one form of family. Sometimes, while experiencing pain, we create new forms. Even so, we move forward for the children’s smiles.
Outside the window, the sun was setting. A new morning would come, and our new family would gradually be built, too. Little by little.
